Standing in front of his couch, my heart pounded out of my chest. I could see the blatant rise and fall through this damn dress that was way too tight. What was normally a place of familiarity suddenly felt wildly outside of my comfort zone. I'd been in this apartment hundreds of times but now, standing here, I couldn't tell you my own name, let alone where the bathroom was.
Luke walked over to his kitchen and slid his wallet and keys across the pristine quartz countertop that I picked out for him last year when he bought the place and decided to renovate.
He turned and stared at me.
I tried to play it cool, tried to steady my chest with a deep breath.
"What's going on, Luke?"
"Tell me you don't think about it."
He took a step towards me.
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Why are you trying to make me confess something? Don't you get enough attention?"
"You're right. This isn't about how you feel. I already know how you feel about me."
He took another step.
"You make it pretty damn clear, Olivia."
If a black girl could turn red, I'd be red.
"Sure. I know you're not feelin' it anymore but I..."
"I want you so fucking badly."
He was in front of me.
I wanted to reach out and grab him but the disbelief washing over my body shocked me into stillness.
"What are you talking about?" I whispered.
"I can't hide it anymore. And I can't take not telling you. I love you. I've always loved you."
I watched his lips as they delivered the words I'd been waiting twelve years to hear. I couldn't believe it.
"Please, say something," he said.
"I can't believe this."
"I'm sorry. I know you don't feel the same. I just had to..."
"How could you not know that I do?"
His eyes examined my face for clarity while my eyes searched his for veracity.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"How could I? You were always so..preoccupied."
"I was an idiot. You've always been the one."
"I can't believe..."
His lips wouldn't let me finish.
He kissed me, slowly at first, then passionately, like he'd found water in a desert.
My arms wrapped around his neck while his hands grazed my back before moving south and cupping my behind.
I returned his passion with my tongue, finding my own water that I'd waited so many years to drink.
Luke picked me up swiftly, wrapping my legs around his waist, pushing my dress up around my stomach.
He pulled his face away from mine and I gasped for air. He didn't say a word, just glued his eyes on mine and carried me to his bedroom.
It felt like a dream.
He sat me down on his bed gently with a sudden tenderness in every twitch of his muscles. As he hovered over me and unzipped the back of my dress, I couldn't help but kiss his chest.
I had no interest in taking my time with him. I started unbuttoning his shirt until I realized there were just too many of them. I ripped the fabric open revealing those perfect pecs and that endless washboard stomach that I'd drooled over for far too long. It was time to make it all mine.
It didn't take Luke long to notice my blatant rejection of his smooth, slow and sensual vibe. He saw the hunger in my eyes and was obliged to match my speed.
He finished the removal of his shirt while I clawed at the zipper of his jeans. In no time at all, both his pants and my dress laid abandoned in the corner of his bedroom.
We collided into each other, hungrily seeking and fervently finding everything we never knew was so readily available all this time. I climbed on top of him, grinding my hips against his girth. His hands grabbed my ass once again and guided my motion. I reached down and slid my right hand under his briefs, freeing the monster that was dying to come out, stretching towards me, wanting me as desperately as I wanted him. God, his dick was perfect.
Was he only offering me his dick? Was his confession of love nothing more than a misconstrued admittance of lust? I could see the two getting confused easily, especially with Luke. He'd never told any woman he loved her before, why the hell would he say it to me? Could I do this? Could I fuck my best friend, knowing his words could dissolve like a morning dew as soon as we both reached orgasmic nirvana?
I let go of his dick and rolled off of him, creating some distance so I could think.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Is this, you know, all you want?"
"You will always be all I want," he said, stroking my stomach with the tips of his fingers.
"But is THIS all you want from me?"
"If you'll let me," he said rolling on top of me, staring into my terrified eyes, "I will love you for the rest of your life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. All you have to do is let me."
He wiped a tear I didn't know had escaped my eye and kissed me, slowly.
"I understand and that's okay. But, I'm here. I'm here and I love you."
"I love you too, Luke. I always have."
I took his face in my hands and lowered him down for a kiss. Our passions grew once again as we melted into one another.
We made love until the sun came up, both of our bodies pushed to the brink of exhaustion. For the first time in hours, Luke rolled away from me, wiping the sweat from his brow.
"So, now that you're my girl," he said, "we're going to need to have a serious conversation about something."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Breakfast. I'm pretty sure you should be making me breakfast."
I laughed and smacked him on his chest, playfully.
"Boy, please. I wish you would even think it. I'll take both butter and jam on my toast, thank you very much. Eggs scrambled, not fried."
"Well, yes, ma'am!"
I laughed with my friend, my best friend, my love.